Tag Archives: Trump

The FBI uncovered several other items Donald Trump took from the White House


The FBI uncovered several other items Donald Trump took from the White House: (1) Harry S Truman’s Official Atomic-Bomb-Ashtray (2) Elenore Roosevelt’s Declassified Beauty Cream (3) Kevin McCarthy’s Testicles (4) Dick Cheney’s Spent Shotgun Shells (5) Mary Todd Lincoln’s Honorary Crazy Quilt (6) Millard B Filmore’s Lucky Argyle Socks (7) Andrew Jackson’s Castanets and Broken Native American Treaties (8) William H Taft’s Top Secret Mustache Wax (9) Richard M Nixon’s Anti-Semitic Missives and Presidential Nose Hair Trimmer (10) Betty Ford’s Executive Cocktail Shaker and Pillbox Hat (11) Benjamin Franklin’s Colonial Lightning Rod and Sorted Clown Shoes

Items The F.B.I. Recovered from Mar-a-Lago


The F.B.I. recently uncovered several other items Donald Trump took from the White House: (1) Abe Lincoln’s Stove Pipe Hat (2) J. Edgar Hoover’s Hoop Skirt (3) Teddy Roosevelt’s Big Stick (4) Eisenhower’s personal collection of, “I Like Ike Buttons (5) Martha Washington’s secret recipe for Cherry Pie (6) Ronald Reagan’s undocumented S.A.G. Card. (7) Barack Obama’s Afro Pick Comb. (8) George W. Bush’s Crayola Crayons. (9)  Jimmy Carter’s Elevator Shoes.  (10) F.D.R.’s Wheelchair Lubricant. (11) Bill Clinton’s Address Book.  #tinyyellowhat

Frolicking Around With You In My Hot Tub Remains A Treasured Memory

Trump & Jong

While the National Archives continues to investigate the former failed President’s unlawful removal of classified documents to his residence in Mar-A-Lago, another love letter to Kim Jung Un, and the Korean dictator’s response, recently surfaced.
Dear Kimmy,
Frolicking around with you in my hot tub remains a treasured memory. I had more fun with you, Kimmy, than I ever had with my Ice Queen wife, Melania. The Slovakian wench wouldn’t even hold my hand in the Jacuzzi. In turn, I look forward to spending time with you and Vladimir/Pooty in the bubbly hot tub. I know we’ll have a “soothing” soak.
Love and Kisses
Donny T

Dear Donny,
I echo your sentiments regarding our time cavorting around in the hot tub. How anyone can get the chills in a hot tub is beyond me, but I got goosebumps “soaking” beside you. I hope Pooty’s busy schedule, regarding his upcoming invasion of Ukraine, won’t stop our fetching buddy from finding a little, “me time,” with you and I in the Jacuzzi.
Hugs and smooches,

Additional love letters from the former failed President to the Korean dictator, Kim Jung Un

Additional love letters from the former failed President to the Korean dictator, Kim Jung Un, have been recovered at Donald Trump’s compound in Mara-A-Lago. These are two more letters the National Archives retrieved, and Kim Jung Un’s response.
Dear Kimmy,
How do I love thee? Let me count the ways: (1) I love your rich plump lips. (2) I love your plump wazoo too. (3) I love your Korean Barbeque… I have more ways, but Melania just walked into the Lincoln bedroom wearing a stovepipe hat. Help! Call me.
Love and Kisses
Donny T

Dear Donny T,
I was thrilled to learn that you love my plump lips and even plumper wazoo. I love your giant wazoo too. I also love Korean Barbeque, but we just call it, “Barbeque”. Lastly, I love that wacky Orange Marmoset you balance on your head all the time. By the way, your Slovakian wench (and her stovepipe hat) sound kind of kinky. I’ll call you ASAP.
Love and Smooches,

Love Letters to Kim Jong Un

President Donald Trump meets North Korean leader Kim Jong Un, Wednesday, Feb. 27, 2019, in Hanoi. (AP Photo/ Evan Vucci)

The state department recently learned that when failed President, Donald Trump, left the White House, he walked off with his love letters to North Korean dictator, Kim Jung Un. A short time ago, the state department retrieved the stolen letters from Mara Lago. Several letters are now open to the public. This is the first in a series of missives from the former President to the Korean dictator, and Kim Jung Un’s response to Donald Trump.
Dearest Kimmy,
My love for you exceeds any love I ever felt for my cold fish of a wife, Melania. The Slovakian wench wouldn’t even hold my hand. You, Kimmy, held my hand at the Korean Border. For the first time in my life, I knew what love was all about. Your hand was warm and inviting. Now, the DOJ is closing in on me, Kimmy. They’re going to slap the steel bracelets on my wrists and haul me off to the Old Gray Bar Hotel. Please Kimmy, let me live with you at your palace in Pyongyang. I won’t bring Eric; you have my word. I’ll just bring tons of love and my golden toilette.
Hugs, Love, and Smooches,
Donny T
Dearest Donny,
I also felt warmth and true love when our hands touched at the Korean Border. In fact, I was so overwhelmed with love that day, I only executed 47 close friends and relatives. Donny my lad, you know that my bedroom door is always open to you at the Presidential Palace at Pyongyang. I hope you can steal away before the DOJ slaps those steel bracelets on your wrists. By the way, I’m looking forward to using your golden toilette, and I’m glad you won’t be bringing Eric.
Forever Yours,
Love and Kisses

Americans are Saddled with The Biggest Loser


In the midst of tumult and untold suffering, Americans are saddled with the biggest loser on Planet Earth since Adolph Hitler laid down his bucket of wallpaper paste and picked up a pencil to write Mein Kompf. If we weren’t actually living through this genuine Shakespearian tragedy, “Covid-19” would have made an entertaining motion picture or an eight-episode series on Netflix. In my opinion, there are only two reasons why anybody would be caught dead supporting this inept, ignorant, narcissistic, xenophobic, bigoted, reality host. Either your backing is being rewarded with cold hard cash or you are a racist. In either case, shame on you. Doubtless my words will fall on deaf Trumpeter ears, but without broadcasting my resistance, I run the risk of being complicit. Vote.