Tag Archives: Vladimir Putin

Missives From Donald Trump To Vladimir Putin

Trump and Putin

Along with several love letters from the former failed President to the North Korean dictator, Kim Jung Un, and the despot’s response; the National Archives recently unveiled numerous missives from Donald Trump to Vladimir Putin, and the Russian tyrant’s response.

 

Dear Vlad/Pooty,

It’s me Donny. I just received a letter from our friend in North Korea. Kimmy said you’re thinking about opening a chain of Russian borsht eateries in Ukraine. Doubtless, the world will try and make it look like you’re invading your neighbor. Don’t pay attention to the world. You are a genius. By the way, I love borsht with a dollop of sour cream and a side of fries, eight or ten Big Macs, and a tub of guacamole. Keep up the good work. You are my hero.

Warmest Love,

Donny T

 

Dear Donny,

You’re the best. I’m so glad you get me. I’m going to send you another soccer ball. Then, you’ll have a pair of balls. Incidentally, tell Kimmy I’m going to add Korean Barbeque to the menu at my borsht eateries in Ukraine. You guys will experience a taste sensation when you slather the ribs with Russian dressing. By the by, Donny, you’re my hero too.

Love and Hugs,

Pooty

Frolicking Around With You In My Hot Tub Remains A Treasured Memory

Trump & Jong

While the National Archives continues to investigate the former failed President’s unlawful removal of classified documents to his residence in Mar-A-Lago, another love letter to Kim Jung Un, and the Korean dictator’s response, recently surfaced.
Dear Kimmy,
Frolicking around with you in my hot tub remains a treasured memory. I had more fun with you, Kimmy, than I ever had with my Ice Queen wife, Melania. The Slovakian wench wouldn’t even hold my hand in the Jacuzzi. In turn, I look forward to spending time with you and Vladimir/Pooty in the bubbly hot tub. I know we’ll have a “soothing” soak.
Love and Kisses
Donny T

Dear Donny,
I echo your sentiments regarding our time cavorting around in the hot tub. How anyone can get the chills in a hot tub is beyond me, but I got goosebumps “soaking” beside you. I hope Pooty’s busy schedule, regarding his upcoming invasion of Ukraine, won’t stop our fetching buddy from finding a little, “me time,” with you and I in the Jacuzzi.
Hugs and smooches,
Kimmy