Tag Archives: Love Letters

Missives From Donald Trump To Vladimir Putin

Trump and Putin

Along with several love letters from the former failed President to the North Korean dictator, Kim Jung Un, and the despot’s response; the National Archives recently unveiled numerous missives from Donald Trump to Vladimir Putin, and the Russian tyrant’s response.


Dear Vlad/Pooty,

It’s me Donny. I just received a letter from our friend in North Korea. Kimmy said you’re thinking about opening a chain of Russian borsht eateries in Ukraine. Doubtless, the world will try and make it look like you’re invading your neighbor. Don’t pay attention to the world. You are a genius. By the way, I love borsht with a dollop of sour cream and a side of fries, eight or ten Big Macs, and a tub of guacamole. Keep up the good work. You are my hero.

Warmest Love,

Donny T


Dear Donny,

You’re the best. I’m so glad you get me. I’m going to send you another soccer ball. Then, you’ll have a pair of balls. Incidentally, tell Kimmy I’m going to add Korean Barbeque to the menu at my borsht eateries in Ukraine. You guys will experience a taste sensation when you slather the ribs with Russian dressing. By the by, Donny, you’re my hero too.

Love and Hugs,


Additional love letters from the former failed President to the Korean dictator, Kim Jung Un

Additional love letters from the former failed President to the Korean dictator, Kim Jung Un, have been recovered at Donald Trump’s compound in Mara-A-Lago. These are two more letters the National Archives retrieved, and Kim Jung Un’s response.
Dear Kimmy,
How do I love thee? Let me count the ways: (1) I love your rich plump lips. (2) I love your plump wazoo too. (3) I love your Korean Barbeque… I have more ways, but Melania just walked into the Lincoln bedroom wearing a stovepipe hat. Help! Call me.
Love and Kisses
Donny T

Dear Donny T,
I was thrilled to learn that you love my plump lips and even plumper wazoo. I love your giant wazoo too. I also love Korean Barbeque, but we just call it, “Barbeque”. Lastly, I love that wacky Orange Marmoset you balance on your head all the time. By the way, your Slovakian wench (and her stovepipe hat) sound kind of kinky. I’ll call you ASAP.
Love and Smooches,

Love Letters to Kim Jong Un

President Donald Trump meets North Korean leader Kim Jong Un, Wednesday, Feb. 27, 2019, in Hanoi. (AP Photo/ Evan Vucci)

The state department recently learned that when failed President, Donald Trump, left the White House, he walked off with his love letters to North Korean dictator, Kim Jung Un. A short time ago, the state department retrieved the stolen letters from Mara Lago. Several letters are now open to the public. This is the first in a series of missives from the former President to the Korean dictator, and Kim Jung Un’s response to Donald Trump.
Dearest Kimmy,
My love for you exceeds any love I ever felt for my cold fish of a wife, Melania. The Slovakian wench wouldn’t even hold my hand. You, Kimmy, held my hand at the Korean Border. For the first time in my life, I knew what love was all about. Your hand was warm and inviting. Now, the DOJ is closing in on me, Kimmy. They’re going to slap the steel bracelets on my wrists and haul me off to the Old Gray Bar Hotel. Please Kimmy, let me live with you at your palace in Pyongyang. I won’t bring Eric; you have my word. I’ll just bring tons of love and my golden toilette.
Hugs, Love, and Smooches,
Donny T
Dearest Donny,
I also felt warmth and true love when our hands touched at the Korean Border. In fact, I was so overwhelmed with love that day, I only executed 47 close friends and relatives. Donny my lad, you know that my bedroom door is always open to you at the Presidential Palace at Pyongyang. I hope you can steal away before the DOJ slaps those steel bracelets on your wrists. By the way, I’m looking forward to using your golden toilette, and I’m glad you won’t be bringing Eric.
Forever Yours,
Love and Kisses