Category Archives: Blog

Troika – Russian for Threesome

Putin, Jong, Trump
After reclaiming fifteen boxes of classified documents Donald Trump fraudulently removed from the White House, yet another love letter from the failed former President to the North Korean dictator, Kim Jung Un, and the despot’s response, has been leaked by the National Archives.
Dear Kimmy,
It’s your old pal Donny, again. I just spoke with Vladimir Putin, who, by the way, wants us to call him “Pooty.” Anyway, Pooty thinks the three of us should get together for a playdate. He called it a “Troika.” I think that’s Russian for threesome. Pooty said he has some business on the border of Ukraine to take care of first, and then he’ll give me a call. I’ll keep you posted.
Love and Kisses
Donny T
Dear Donny,
I look forward to a Troika Playdate with you and Vladimir, I mean Pooty. Tell Pooty I just bought some Ellen underwear on line. I must say, Donny, I look pretty snazzy in my new underpants. Incidentally, I tried to order a pair of Ellen underwear for you, but they didn’t have XXXXXL in stock. I’ll try again, soon. Miss you, my darling.
Love and Hugs

Additional love letters from the former failed President to the Korean dictator, Kim Jung Un

Additional love letters from the former failed President to the Korean dictator, Kim Jung Un, have been recovered at Donald Trump’s compound in Mara-A-Lago. These are two more letters the National Archives retrieved, and Kim Jung Un’s response.
Dear Kimmy,
How do I love thee? Let me count the ways: (1) I love your rich plump lips. (2) I love your plump wazoo too. (3) I love your Korean Barbeque… I have more ways, but Melania just walked into the Lincoln bedroom wearing a stovepipe hat. Help! Call me.
Love and Kisses
Donny T

Dear Donny T,
I was thrilled to learn that you love my plump lips and even plumper wazoo. I love your giant wazoo too. I also love Korean Barbeque, but we just call it, “Barbeque”. Lastly, I love that wacky Orange Marmoset you balance on your head all the time. By the way, your Slovakian wench (and her stovepipe hat) sound kind of kinky. I’ll call you ASAP.
Love and Smooches,

Love Letters to Kim Jong Un

President Donald Trump meets North Korean leader Kim Jong Un, Wednesday, Feb. 27, 2019, in Hanoi. (AP Photo/ Evan Vucci)

The state department recently learned that when failed President, Donald Trump, left the White House, he walked off with his love letters to North Korean dictator, Kim Jung Un. A short time ago, the state department retrieved the stolen letters from Mara Lago. Several letters are now open to the public. This is the first in a series of missives from the former President to the Korean dictator, and Kim Jung Un’s response to Donald Trump.
Dearest Kimmy,
My love for you exceeds any love I ever felt for my cold fish of a wife, Melania. The Slovakian wench wouldn’t even hold my hand. You, Kimmy, held my hand at the Korean Border. For the first time in my life, I knew what love was all about. Your hand was warm and inviting. Now, the DOJ is closing in on me, Kimmy. They’re going to slap the steel bracelets on my wrists and haul me off to the Old Gray Bar Hotel. Please Kimmy, let me live with you at your palace in Pyongyang. I won’t bring Eric; you have my word. I’ll just bring tons of love and my golden toilette.
Hugs, Love, and Smooches,
Donny T
Dearest Donny,
I also felt warmth and true love when our hands touched at the Korean Border. In fact, I was so overwhelmed with love that day, I only executed 47 close friends and relatives. Donny my lad, you know that my bedroom door is always open to you at the Presidential Palace at Pyongyang. I hope you can steal away before the DOJ slaps those steel bracelets on your wrists. By the way, I’m looking forward to using your golden toilette, and I’m glad you won’t be bringing Eric.
Forever Yours,
Love and Kisses

Hypocritical Weasel


Hypocritical Weasel

John Boehner, the former Speaker of the House, is the most hypocritical weasel to come along in the past decade, or at least the past six months (two weeks?). In Boehner’s recent poor excuse for a book, this poor excuse for a human being pretends to speak to the truth by calling the former President (I am of course paraphrasing) a colossal orange turd; a moron; an inconsiderate feckless loser. Even so, the phony weeping opportunist voted for Donald Trump twice. Not once. Twice. Two times. Dos. Doubtless, more than most, I understand the concept of selling a book. I write books. I sell books for a living. The difference between men like John Boehner and yours truly, however, is that this writer would never sell his soul, just to sell a book. Why? Because I have more integrity in the last three hair follicles floating aimlessly above my head than John Boehner has in his entire gin-soaked body. We need to call out men like John Boehner and John Bolton for the freebooting twofaced double-dealing people they really are. Please don’t buy Boehner’s (or Bolton’s) disingenuous, duplicitous tome. Resist. Stay safe.

Eternal Vigilance

Now that adults are overseeing the government and have, for all intents and purposes, banished the toddler-in-chief and his white supremist henchmen from the political landscape; the daily briefings, led by White House Press Secretary, Jen Psaki, are honest, informative, and straightforward. No longer are we subjected to a blitzkrieg of hot-air-buffoonery and “alternate facts” spewed-out by disingenuous men and women like Sean Spicer, Kellyanne Conway, and Sarah Schmuckabee Sanders. Nonetheless, “The Price of Liberty” like Thomas Jefferson cautioned, can only be preserved by “Eternal Vigilance.” Stay alert. Stay safe. Resist. The Cowards Must be Voted Out

The Cowards Must be Voted Out

The evidence against former President Trump in the ongoing trial regarding his culpability in the January 6th assault on the United States Capital is overwhelming. In the end, every Republican Senator who does not vote to impeach this ugliest of Americans is a coward. Into the bargain, Republican representatives of American citizens who are shamefully afraid to challenge the former President, lack the courage to help heal our deeply wounded country. These individuals must be voted out of office and kicked to the curb. Lastly, isn’t the lead attorney for the former President, Michael Van Der Veen, a majorly-creepy-ass-douchebag of a human being? Resist.

Queen of Conspiracy Theory Simpletons.

Congresswoman Margorie Taylor Green is a festering pimple on the nose of democracy. Presently, the representative from Georgia is the quintessential queen of conspiracy theory simpletons. The hard-shelled loser’s harassment of David Hogg, the Parkland school shooting survivor, was despicable. Into the bargain, free speech does not entitle ugly Americans like Margorie Taylor Green to openly threaten her colleagues with death. The congresswoman’s bugnutty behavior should never be glossed over. Her expulsion from Congress is a no-brainer. Resist.

Good and Decent Human Beings

Good and Decent Human Beings
There are more of us than there are of them. There are more good and decent human beings in our country than victims; miscreants; whiners; haters, and conspiracy driven simpletons. Good and decent human beings bear the blame for their own mistakes. Rather than looking for scapegoats, they look for solutions. Wherever good and decent human beings encounter hate, they sow love and reach out to those less fortunate. In turn, they are curious, loving, kind and altruistic. Good and decent human beings not only inspire others, they yearn to make our planet a better place for their children, grandchildren, and future generations. Nelson Mandela said: “As we let our own light shine, we give others permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates everyone.” No one should ever feel compelled to owe racism, xenophobia, and misogyny an open mind. Resist.
https://www.peopleneedtolaugh.comNelson Mandela Museum

Treasonous and Seditious Liar

Vice President Pence prance-clapped his way off Airforce One over to a podium on the tarmac to spew treasonous and seditious lies regarding the recent fair and honest Presidential election. Knowing full-well Joe Biden and Kamala Harris are in fact the President and Vice President Elect, Pence smiled at the cameras like a racoon eating a sweet potato and fabricated an ugly narrative about voter fraud. Along with the Fuhrer-in-Chief, Pence should be indicted immediately if not sooner. Imagine how gratifying it will be to see Trump and Pence in their hoosgow pajamas sharing a prison cell. One fat-ass victim of his own inadequacy, and the other a sycophant with a fruit fly nesting in his hair, begging for his mommy. Stay the resistance. Stay safe.

Republican Lawmakers Are Weasels

If you are a republican lawmaker and you have been silent after our free and fair election, and throughout the transition from the current administration to the Biden administration, you are a coward, a weasel, and a traitor. You make Benedict Arnold look like Mary Poppins. Via your quietude, you are complicit in hurting our great democracy and should hang your head in shame. Nonetheless, we the people will overcome your ugly divisive loser victim mentality. It will not be easy. It will in fact be the Mount Everest of righting the wrongs of the last four years. We will however meet the challenge, reaffirm our basic democratic values and reach the summit. We are Americans. True Americans. Decent Americans. We don’t have to physically hug the American flag to prove our loyalty and love for our country. We just do. Stay strong in your resistance. Stay safe.