Category Archives: Blog

A Historic Moment in American History – Katanji Brown Jackson

Presently, I am viewing an historic moment in American history; the confirmation of the first African American woman nominated to the highest court of the land. Baring a cataclysmic event, such as an asteroid hurtling toward the planet and landing on the congressional committee, or Senator Lindsey Graham having a case of the vapors, Judge Katanji Brown Jackson will be confirmed as the next Supreme Court Justice. Nonetheless, regardless of Judge Jackson’s exemplary credentials, including decades of experience, clarity, integrity, and awe-inspiring intellect, a number of Republican policy makers will object to her nomination. These narrowminded individuals seemingly relish being on the wrong side of history, again and again. Fortunately, decent Americans have the ability to kick these racist, xenophobic, obstructionists to the curb by voting them out of office. Therein lies the difference between democratic forms of government and dictatorial regimes. In Russia, for example, voter’s deposit their ballots into a shredder and the current despot remains the ruler of the land. At the end of the day, Thomas Jefferson said: “Eternal vigilance is the price of Liberty.” I believe eternal vigilance requires voting at the local level, voting in the midterms, and voting for a good and decent President. Vote!

 

Egregious Flag-Waving-Behavior

I take pride in my ability to gage someone’s character or lack thereof, quickly. This afternoon, however, I was handed a dose of reality regarding my swift-assessment-capabilities. On our drive over to the community swimming pool for a little exercise and some Vitamin D, my wife and I drove past the home of a couple we occasionally chat with around the neighborhood and at the swimming pool. Hoisted on a flagpole in their front yard, waving in the breeze, was an unsightly vile, “Let’s Go Brandon” flag. In some way, I felt sadder for myself having misjudged the couple’s obvious lack of character and general stupidity. Don’t get me wrong, I never thought either of them were candidates for a think tank at M.I.T or membership in MENSA. If truth be told, the male counterpart in the relationship is pretty much a nincompoop, enamored with the sound of his own voice. Even so, I always thought the nincompoop’s wife had a decent sense of humor. For that reason, the measure of her mean-spirited nature, caught me off guard. In the end, I find their hateful flag-waving-behavior especially egregious, because presently we are witnessing the invasion of Ukraine by a brutal dictator who helped the previous failed President of the United States, (the flag-flying chucklehead’s party favorite) get elected. At the same time, I believe human beings can change and evolve; therefore, my wife and I are holding out hope that soon we’ll pass our neighbor’s home and view a notable flag lowering ceremony in their front yard.

Twofaced Toadies

Trump & Grahman

Vladimir Putin makes “Vlad the Impaler,” aka Dracula, look like Mother Theresa. By the same token, considering Lindsey Graham captures the essence of twofaced toadies the world over, his recent tweeting about Putin’s sycophants killing the tyrant is the height of hypocrisy. Senator Graham kissed the former failed President’s ass so much, the Chapstix factory ran out of strawberry lip balm. By the way, I’ve been studying Vladimir Putin’s stoic face for several weeks. In my opinion, a tumbler of prune juice would end the invasion and suffering in Ukraine.

DeSantis Bullied Children

 

I live in Florida. It is my home. All the same, I am embarrassed by our Governor, Ron DeSantis. Yesterday, Ron DeSantis bullied children standing behind him on a stage for wearing masks. He called their choice to wear a mask in public, “Covid Theater.” The Governor also called, France, one of our staunchest allies, cowards. France, the country who gave us the very symbol of freedom we proudly display in New York harbor. I only wish one of the young Americans who stood on the stage behind Governor DeSantis, (or one of their parents,) had confronted the gutless bully for his shameful behavior. Doubtless, the spineless politician would have scurried away, squealing like a little girl who sat on a bumble bee.

 

 

Missives From Donald Trump To Vladimir Putin

Trump and Putin

Along with several love letters from the former failed President to the North Korean dictator, Kim Jung Un, and the despot’s response; the National Archives recently unveiled numerous missives from Donald Trump to Vladimir Putin, and the Russian tyrant’s response.

 

Dear Vlad/Pooty,

It’s me Donny. I just received a letter from our friend in North Korea. Kimmy said you’re thinking about opening a chain of Russian borsht eateries in Ukraine. Doubtless, the world will try and make it look like you’re invading your neighbor. Don’t pay attention to the world. You are a genius. By the way, I love borsht with a dollop of sour cream and a side of fries, eight or ten Big Macs, and a tub of guacamole. Keep up the good work. You are my hero.

Warmest Love,

Donny T

 

Dear Donny,

You’re the best. I’m so glad you get me. I’m going to send you another soccer ball. Then, you’ll have a pair of balls. Incidentally, tell Kimmy I’m going to add Korean Barbeque to the menu at my borsht eateries in Ukraine. You guys will experience a taste sensation when you slather the ribs with Russian dressing. By the by, Donny, you’re my hero too.

Love and Hugs,

Pooty

Frolicking Around With You In My Hot Tub Remains A Treasured Memory

Trump & Jong

While the National Archives continues to investigate the former failed President’s unlawful removal of classified documents to his residence in Mar-A-Lago, another love letter to Kim Jung Un, and the Korean dictator’s response, recently surfaced.
Dear Kimmy,
Frolicking around with you in my hot tub remains a treasured memory. I had more fun with you, Kimmy, than I ever had with my Ice Queen wife, Melania. The Slovakian wench wouldn’t even hold my hand in the Jacuzzi. In turn, I look forward to spending time with you and Vladimir/Pooty in the bubbly hot tub. I know we’ll have a “soothing” soak.
Love and Kisses
Donny T

Dear Donny,
I echo your sentiments regarding our time cavorting around in the hot tub. How anyone can get the chills in a hot tub is beyond me, but I got goosebumps “soaking” beside you. I hope Pooty’s busy schedule, regarding his upcoming invasion of Ukraine, won’t stop our fetching buddy from finding a little, “me time,” with you and I in the Jacuzzi.
Hugs and smooches,
Kimmy

Troika – Russian for Threesome

Putin, Jong, Trump
After reclaiming fifteen boxes of classified documents Donald Trump fraudulently removed from the White House, yet another love letter from the failed former President to the North Korean dictator, Kim Jung Un, and the despot’s response, has been leaked by the National Archives.
Dear Kimmy,
It’s your old pal Donny, again. I just spoke with Vladimir Putin, who, by the way, wants us to call him “Pooty.” Anyway, Pooty thinks the three of us should get together for a playdate. He called it a “Troika.” I think that’s Russian for threesome. Pooty said he has some business on the border of Ukraine to take care of first, and then he’ll give me a call. I’ll keep you posted.
Love and Kisses
Donny T
Dear Donny,
I look forward to a Troika Playdate with you and Vladimir, I mean Pooty. Tell Pooty I just bought some Ellen underwear on line. I must say, Donny, I look pretty snazzy in my new underpants. Incidentally, I tried to order a pair of Ellen underwear for you, but they didn’t have XXXXXL in stock. I’ll try again, soon. Miss you, my darling.
Love and Hugs
Kimmy

Additional love letters from the former failed President to the Korean dictator, Kim Jung Un


Additional love letters from the former failed President to the Korean dictator, Kim Jung Un, have been recovered at Donald Trump’s compound in Mara-A-Lago. These are two more letters the National Archives retrieved, and Kim Jung Un’s response.
Dear Kimmy,
How do I love thee? Let me count the ways: (1) I love your rich plump lips. (2) I love your plump wazoo too. (3) I love your Korean Barbeque… I have more ways, but Melania just walked into the Lincoln bedroom wearing a stovepipe hat. Help! Call me.
Love and Kisses
Donny T

Dear Donny T,
I was thrilled to learn that you love my plump lips and even plumper wazoo. I love your giant wazoo too. I also love Korean Barbeque, but we just call it, “Barbeque”. Lastly, I love that wacky Orange Marmoset you balance on your head all the time. By the way, your Slovakian wench (and her stovepipe hat) sound kind of kinky. I’ll call you ASAP.
Love and Smooches,
Kimmy

Love Letters to Kim Jong Un

President Donald Trump meets North Korean leader Kim Jong Un, Wednesday, Feb. 27, 2019, in Hanoi. (AP Photo/ Evan Vucci)

The state department recently learned that when failed President, Donald Trump, left the White House, he walked off with his love letters to North Korean dictator, Kim Jung Un. A short time ago, the state department retrieved the stolen letters from Mara Lago. Several letters are now open to the public. This is the first in a series of missives from the former President to the Korean dictator, and Kim Jung Un’s response to Donald Trump.
Dearest Kimmy,
My love for you exceeds any love I ever felt for my cold fish of a wife, Melania. The Slovakian wench wouldn’t even hold my hand. You, Kimmy, held my hand at the Korean Border. For the first time in my life, I knew what love was all about. Your hand was warm and inviting. Now, the DOJ is closing in on me, Kimmy. They’re going to slap the steel bracelets on my wrists and haul me off to the Old Gray Bar Hotel. Please Kimmy, let me live with you at your palace in Pyongyang. I won’t bring Eric; you have my word. I’ll just bring tons of love and my golden toilette.
Hugs, Love, and Smooches,
Donny T
Dearest Donny,
I also felt warmth and true love when our hands touched at the Korean Border. In fact, I was so overwhelmed with love that day, I only executed 47 close friends and relatives. Donny my lad, you know that my bedroom door is always open to you at the Presidential Palace at Pyongyang. I hope you can steal away before the DOJ slaps those steel bracelets on your wrists. By the way, I’m looking forward to using your golden toilette, and I’m glad you won’t be bringing Eric.
Forever Yours,
Love and Kisses
Kimmy

Hypocritical Weasel

 

Hypocritical Weasel

John Boehner, the former Speaker of the House, is the most hypocritical weasel to come along in the past decade, or at least the past six months (two weeks?). In Boehner’s recent poor excuse for a book, this poor excuse for a human being pretends to speak to the truth by calling the former President (I am of course paraphrasing) a colossal orange turd; a moron; an inconsiderate feckless loser. Even so, the phony weeping opportunist voted for Donald Trump twice. Not once. Twice. Two times. Dos. Doubtless, more than most, I understand the concept of selling a book. I write books. I sell books for a living. The difference between men like John Boehner and yours truly, however, is that this writer would never sell his soul, just to sell a book. Why? Because I have more integrity in the last three hair follicles floating aimlessly above my head than John Boehner has in his entire gin-soaked body. We need to call out men like John Boehner and John Bolton for the freebooting twofaced double-dealing people they really are. Please don’t buy Boehner’s (or Bolton’s) disingenuous, duplicitous tome. Resist. Stay safe.