Tag Archives: Political Humor

Un-American American

Over the last three and a half years, Donald Trump has been trying to take the country back to the ‘50s; the 1850s. For temporary President Trump, the mid twentieth century when white men of privilege ruled the roost wasn’t back far enough. He doesn’t see people of color sitting in the back of the bus, Trump sees black and brown people lying under the wheels. Those relics living among us who support the present administration and refuse to evolve by embracing the true melting pot we call the United States of America, stand in the way of progress. If you are someone who defends, validates, advocates, or champions the racist, xenophobic ugly American occupying the Oval Office, you are stoking the fires of fear, hatred, and division. If you can’t get out of your own way, how about getting out of mine? Vote.

 

Stop The Insanity

sycophant

 

Along with the rusting zombie wandering the shadowy corridors of the White House, Governor Ron DeSantis of Florida is playing politics with American children’s lives. DeSantis, aka “Trump’s Mini-Me,” refuses to listen to reason. Medical professionals across the country and around the globe insist that opening schools before the pandemic is under control is tantamount to a death sentence for teachers and students. Even if children are able to fight off the deadly virus, they will, in fact, bring Covid 19 back to their folks, uncles, aunts, brothers, sisters, and grandparents. Stop the insanity. Vote.

The Easy-Riders Gathering In Sturgis

There is an old saying, “When you play with a snake, don’t be surprised when he bites you.” The Easy-Riders gathering in Sturgis, South Dakota are standing in a pit of vipers. They are in fact thoughtless individuals who don’t care about their own safety and even less about those of us who do. Selfish, Self-Involved, and Shameful are just a few words that spring to mind. Vote.

Donald And The Devil

The Republican Party sold its soul to Beelzebub when Donald Trump was elected to the highest post in the land. Now the evil contract has come full circle and the Beastmaster is belly laughing while Americans are dying in droves. In the past four months, more people have lost their lives than the Japanese nationals who died as a result of the atomic bombs dropped on Hiroshima and Nagasaki, ending World War II. Republicans are repeatedly on the wrong side of history and need to go by way of the Whigs. It is time Donald and the Devil were on the run. Vote.

Americans are Saddled with The Biggest Loser

Vote

In the midst of tumult and untold suffering, Americans are saddled with the biggest loser on Planet Earth since Adolph Hitler laid down his bucket of wallpaper paste and picked up a pencil to write Mein Kompf. If we weren’t actually living through this genuine Shakespearian tragedy, “Covid-19” would have made an entertaining motion picture or an eight-episode series on Netflix. In my opinion, there are only two reasons why anybody would be caught dead supporting this inept, ignorant, narcissistic, xenophobic, bigoted, reality host. Either your backing is being rewarded with cold hard cash or you are a racist. In either case, shame on you. Doubtless my words will fall on deaf Trumpeter ears, but without broadcasting my resistance, I run the risk of being complicit. Vote.

A Bloated Toady Sycophant

Doubtless from coast to coast decent Americans have the same opinion of Attorney General William Barr. The man is a bloated toady, a sycophant of major proportions who groveled for the job of top cop in an editorial designed to get the attention of the racist occupying the Oval Office. Bill Barr slapped on knee pads and begged for Beauregard’s gig. Recently, the swollen bootlicker flaunted his disrespect, arrogance, and contempt for lawmakers at a congressional hearing. Just the same, good and decent men like Rep. Cedric Richmond of Louisiana and Rep. Joe Neguse of Colorado schooled the overstuffed A.G. in the art of all that is honest, moral, and truthful. We only acquire noble and principled men like Congressman Richmond and Congressman Neguse by voting. Vote.

Disney to Reopen

Florida’s premier amusement park, Disneyworld, reopened this week featuring a brand-new attraction: “The Peterpandemic Haunted House.” Before entering the chilling ride, patrons are asked to sign a waiver absolving Disneyworld of any wrongdoing in the event they drop dead, two weeks later. Florida’s Mickey Mouse Governor, Ron “Goofy” DeSantis, plans to be the first person in line to ride the new attraction.

Deadly Viral Tsunami

                                     

Although Covid 19 may resemble a science fiction screenplay by Stephen King, starring Tom Cruise and Sandra Bullock, our fragile planet is, in fact, experiencing a deadly viral tsunami; the likes of which the world has never known. While the unchecked Coronavirus cuts a dizzying swathe across the Blue Speck, Americans must also deal with the orange scourge occupying the Oval Office. At the worst possible moment in our nation’s history, we are strapped with a Head of State ranking alongside tyrants like Benito Mussolini and Idi Amin. From the temporary President’s first one-hundred days to his last one-hundred days, the bloated jackass, Donald John Trump, ravaged the constitution, fueled divisiveness, and trampled upon the rule of law. Now, good and decent Americans have the opportunity to give the swollen goon a swift kick in the wazoo and send him packing. But in order to rid the country of our national disgrace, we the people must get out the vote. Voting our conscience is the perfect path to redemption. Then, the horror of the past four years will come to an end and America can begin the healing process. At last, we’ll wash away the lawlessness, anarchy, and chaos stemming from the current administration and once again breathe free. At that juncture, the deplorable racists who supported the hideous criminal in the White House can crawl back into the ratholes from which they came. Soon after, everyone around the globe will switch on their big screen TVs and watch the most successful grifter in modern history being led away in handcuffs; doubtless, with toilet paper stuck to his shoe and his bad comb-over flapping in the breeze

Choice

Shortly before hurricane Andrew wreaked havoc on Southern Florida, I was lying on the sofa in my aunt Filippa’s house in Delray Beach with the air conditioner cranked up to Penguin House. Aunt Filippa and Uncle Louie were letting me cool my heals in their comfortable snow-bird home, before I hopped in my Beetle and slid down to Key West. In the southernmost city of Florida, I was bringing the gift of laughter to my fellow earthlings; a sensational room in a swanky hotel I’d headlined several times. It was also the jumping off point for a month in Puerto Rico and the Grand Cayman Islands. (Working in the Caribbean was a dirty job, but someone had to do it.)

A few minutes before I was stretched out on the sofa, I was standing in the driveway with my aunt and uncle who driving back to Brooklyn with a trunk loaded with oranges and grapefruits for their neighbors in East Flatbush.

“I know it’s a long shot,” Uncle Louie said hanging his head out the car window. “But if you get lucky, make sure the neighbors get an eyeful. The frosties around here could use a little excitement.”

Uncle Louie was a handsome devil in his mid-sixties, tall with jet black hair and horn-rimmed glasses. I called him Superman. A throwback from when I was a kid, because he was the spitting image of Clark Kent. Louie loved to call to his fellow Floridians “Frosties,” because they were either bald or graying on top. We were running errands a week earlier when Louie spied an elderly woman in the car ahead of us. “Holy crap,” he said while we were sitting at a red light. “There’s a giant cotton ball with two arms driving a Lincoln.” I attribute a portion of my wacky sense of humor to Uncle Louie; although, I’m certain he’d readily deny it.

After Aunt Filippa and Uncle Louie pulled out of the driveway, I got comfortable on the sofa with a bag of Doritos propped up between my legs, the remote control in one hand and a cold beer in the other. While I was sipping, snacking, and surfing, I dropped anchor on a local talk show. The moment I logged on, a woman with dark eyes looked directly into the camera and said, “For the first time in my life, I understood that we always have a choice.” I think she’d lost a boatload of weight and followed her dream of becoming a mermaid at Weekewaachie, but I can’t be certain; anyway, that’s not important; what is important was she grasped the power of choice; something she had never seriously contemplated and neither had I.

When I switched off the television, I could still see her face and hear her voice announcing, “For the first time in my life, I understood that we always have a choice.” It was a simple statement that went straight to my heart. I found myself repeating it again and again. At that moment, I began to think about the power of choice and how I might apply it to my life. Could I choose to be healthier, wealthier, more compassionate, more loving? The more “choice questions” I asked, the more “yes answers” I received.

“We always have a choice,” I suddenly said aloud. “We always have a choice.”

It sounds simple, I admit, but it was something of an awakening, a bright moment the likes of which Ebenezer Scrooge experienced when he awoke on Christmas morning. I got it. Recurring messages orchestrating a positive attitude; a sequence of reminders prompting choices spoken aloud; memoranda driving the right choice home at the right time.

The woman on the talk show got it. She understood that controlling her choices from one moment to another was key to achieving her goals. Attending to her own sound advice was highly effective. She determined that if she was going to change, she had to recall the moment of truth on demand, out loud. Smart pledges announcing that the power of choice is always there for the asking. In effect, by allowing myself to repeat choice words at will, I could choose to accept love and give love unconditionally. In doing so, I accepted a stream of consciousness that made my choices honest, authentic, and sincere.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Southside of Brooklyn

I was born on the southside of Brooklyn a few years after the second world war. My father was stationed in Nebraska during World War II and often said, “I killed more German and Japanese soldiers with my typewriter than any other guy in the Army Air Corp.” Still in single digits, I thought Dad went around smashing his Underwood over enemy combatants’ heads, or dropped his typewriter from a B17 into densely populated areas of Berlin and Tokyo. Although my father was never in the thick of it, he still suffered from PTSD, or shell shock as the medicos called the disorder in the 1940s. Why he exhibited symptoms of the dread condition is a mystery; nonetheless, after his stint in the armed forces, Dad had more issues than Readers Digest. Of course, cohabitating with my mother, the Sicilian whack-a-do from Crazy Town, may have been a contributing factor regarding his facial tics and occasional melt downs; events that punctuated a broad-spectrum of clumsy parenting. Just the same, I never doubted his love. A few years back, the veteran shuffled off this mortal coil in his 96th year. In his absence, I thank my father and his heroic band of brothers who fought and died for their country.