“The Sun will come out tomorrow, bet your bottom dollar they’ll be Sun.” Oscar Wilde wrote a bestseller entitled, The Picture of Dorian Gray. Every character in the book has his or her own moral compass. The result is a world in which no one is sure what is right and what is wrong. Oscar’s book is fiction, but what isn’t fiction is the largest hurricane in recorded history, Hurricane Dorian, battering the Bahamas and threatening the United States with devastating winds reaching 200 miles an hour. Not to mention, Dorian is depositing enough rain to fill three more oceans and every crater on the moon, ten times over. With that being said, I would like to address the climate change deniers of the world. As we have come to learn, the Earth is round, not flat, nor is it dangling from a giant rubber band attached to the moon. I believe we can all agree that these truths we hold to be self-evident. Another self-evident truth is that while MacDonald’s serves up another 387 billion burgers and cows keep farting more methane than Roseanne at a tailgate party on Superbowl Sunday; the Polar Ice Caps will continue to melt like an ice cream cone in July and The Amazon Rain Forrest will be a never-ending firestorm. In turn, monster hurricanes will become more frequent than a light drizzle, a Sun shower, or a pizza delivery at Rebel Wilson’s house. If we citizens of the globe don’t get on the stick, our children’s children will curse our generation like there’s no tomorrow, or at least until the cows come home; pun intended. Incidentally, in keeping with the damage we humans are inflicting on Mother Nature, there is presently enough plastic floating around on the ocean to assemble the next eight thousand generations of Barbie and her Malibu Dream House and still have enough plastic left over to make a Hawaiian skirt for Louie Anderson on the sitcom, Baskets. By the way, if you’re pondering what this writer is doing to help find solutions to these conundrums, may I say, first and foremost, I find your question a tad presumptuous; nonetheless, I am writing this piece to get peoples’ attention. I believe if you can make people laugh, you can make people think. And if you can make people laugh hard enough, whatever they’re drinking will cascade from their nostrils like a fountain at Caesar’s Palace. Get involved. Join the resistance.
