After the courts ruled against Donald Trump’s travel ban, Kellyanne Conway held a press conference to announce she was on her way to the Nordstrom Rack to pick up a few Ivanka Trump designs on clearance.
Good people, I know there’s one thing we can all agree upon; Kelly Anne Conway has taken leave of her racist bigoted white-supremacist mind. Bare feet in the Oval Office? Bare feet on the sofa while 35 Black University Presidents are standing in attendance? You disrespectful slithering-silicone-sycophant. Please, Kelly Anne, do the planet a colossal favor and crawl back in to the gurgling bog you oozed out of. I’m sure you’ll find a cozy snakeskin sweater from Ivanka Fashions and a few alternative facts at the bottom of the ooze. Good luck and God Bless.
The former Speaker of the House, John Boehner, recently said that he wouldn’t support Donald Trump for the GOP nomination. Which is a really good thing. Because between Boehner’s Orange Skin and Donald’s Orange Hair, Trump supporters could become color blind and begin punching each other in the face.
Since the senator from Florida did everyone a favor when he dropped out of the presidential race; children frolicking in swimming pools in Miami have replaced Marco Pollo with Marco Rubio. Now, if we could just close our eyes and Republican front runners Ted Cruz and Donald Trump would disappear as well, the world would be a better place.
At a town hall meeting, Anderson Cooper asked Donald Trump why he had said nasty things about Senator Ted Cruz’s wife, Heidi. “Ted started it, ” Mr. Trump replied, petulantly. ” What are you five years old?” Anderson Cooper said. “Your response is ‘Ted started it?'” Personally, I’m concerned that President Trump may be attending a high level meeting with President Putin of Russia, when the two leaders find themselves in disagreement. There’s bound to be an international incident when President Trump stamps his feet and proclaims: “Shut up, Vladimir, you poopy head. You’re not the boss of me.”
After beating Donald Trump in the Wisconsin primary by double digits, Senator Ted Cruz reportedly said, “I beat the bitch down.” No wait, that was a quote from Arron Paul in Breaking Bad.
Just when I thought it was safe to go about my business without the Pontiff invading every waking hour; preempting my favorite television programs from Chris Mathews on MSNBC to the talented jokers on the Big Bang Theory, I innocently ordered a pepperoni pizza and lo and behold there he was again. Yes, indeed, staring at me from atop the pizza box was Pope Frankie in all his glory. Although I found it a tad disconcerting, I have to admit it brought back memories of Father Guido Sarduci, aka Don Novello, and his classic bit from Saturday Night Live Finda the Pope ina the Pizza Contest. Just the same I’m glad His Holiness visited America. He’s a decent, somewhat progressive guy, who, for example, no longer condemns the Gay Pride Parade. An act I always found hypocritical whenever the Pontiff rode through Vatican Square on a flowery float wearing a matching hat and gown. That said, he gave a great many people a well-needed lift and that’s a good thing. Just the same, I pray he doesn’t come back too soon.Picture of the Pope.