Bedtime for Trump

We begin with the recent Fox News tribute to the 40th president of the United States, Ronald Reagan. In the opening segment, Laura Ingram called Temporary President Trump and Ronald Reagan “Two Great Leaders.” Back on Planet Earth, 70% of Americans think Ronald and Donald couldn’t lead a puppy to a hamburger. Even so, parallels can be drawn between the two Presidents. Reagan for example slashed education and social programs that protected the dispossessed. Donald Trump slashed regulations protecting American consumers and dispossessed infants from their mother’s bosoms. Reagan denounced the imprisoned Nelson Mandela as a terrorist and supported the racist apartied Government of South Africa. Donald Trump thinks Nazis are upstanding citizens. When all’s said and done, Ronald Reagan did his best work with a Chimpanzee in a Kookie film called, “Bedtime for Bonzo.” We here at PBN are currently taking up a collection to buy a monkey for Donald Trump; then, perhaps the country can get back to normal. This just in, I’m being told by our producer that one of our loyal viewers, Sharon Lynch, called the station and said: “Please don’t subject a sweet monkey to Donald Trump; Donald Junior and Eric will shoot the poor bastard and hang him on a wall in the oval office.” Point well-taken, Sharon, we’ll have to settle for a mechanical monkey in a bellhop costume banging on a pair of cymbals. Film at eleven.

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