The Running Man
I have my finger under Arnold Schwarzenegger’s nose, because he was about to sneeze. There’s only one way to describe the conversation I had with the former governor of California during the filming of Running Man, Uberdeep. Arnold: “Nice shoes.” Me: “Likewise, I’m sure.”
In Patch Adams, I had the privilege of working with academy award winners, Robin Williams and Phillip Seymour Hoffman. I was dressed in a lab coat, like the one Robin is wearing in the poster. In the film, Robin looks like a doctor; I look like a butcher or a hair stylist wearing a stethoscope.
I’m laughing in this photo, because when I arrived on the set, I told Sally Fields that I’d been a fan since the Flying Nun days. Before she smiled and thanked me, Sally stared at me as though she was about to say, “Nice to meet you, baldy. I appreciate your comments, but go away before I call security.” Sally’s co-star was Tom Hanks. If you’re reading this, Tommy, and why wouldn’t you be, it’s time you apologized for freaking out like a little girl and swearing at me when I shook you’re hand with the rubber hand I had up my sleeve. A few weeks later, I worked with Tom Hanks on Dragnet with Dan Ackroyd. Dan was a prince. Tom was still a douche.
Cross My Heart
Martin Short is a national treasure. Without question, one of the funniest human beings on the planet. On the film Cross Your Heart with Annette O’Toole, Martin and I did dueling Jerry Lewis’ in Raceda, California. I love the guy.
It was an honor to work with Christopher Plummer and Dan Ackroyd on Dragnet. My part consisted of running around in goat leggings at midnight carrying a fiery torch that nearly set my mustache aflame. Now I know how the villagers in the original Frankenstein movie felt. At the end of the shoot, I asked the assistant director if I could take the goat leggings home as a souvenir; he told me to leave them in the dressing room. Dan Ackroyd and Christopher Plummer were delightful. Tom Hanks was still a weenie.
I played a cop in the motion picture Metro starring Eddie Murphy and Michael Rappaport. While we were shooting a scene, a small klieg light broke loose and bounced off an extra’s head. She wasn’t hurt badly, but they took her away in an ambulance just the same. “If I got bonked on the head with a klieg light and was taken away in an ambulance,” I told my cohorts, “The following day I would return in a starring role or own part of the production company.”
Silent Night Deadly Night II
The Right Stuff
On more than one occasion during the filming of Commando Squad I was nearly blown to bits. You’re welcome. On the first day of shooting, I met Russ Tamblin; I was amazed to see Russ in the low budget film. I used to think that anyone who had any success in Hollywood was a millionaire and lived in Malibu.
The Woman in Red
Working with Gene Wilder and Gilda Radner on The Woman in Red was a blast. Gilda was the fourth member of the original SNL players I had the privilege of meeting; Gene Wilder was in Young Frankenstein and Blazing Saddles. It doesn’t get much better than that.