Category Archives: Blog

Donald Trump graduated from college?

I don’t believe Donald Trump rightfully graduated from college; he’s too stupid. I’m certain his degree was obtained by paying intelligent students to do the required work and take his exams. In fact, Donald probably paid his kindergarten classmates to do his bidding or he would have failed sandbox.

Orangutan at a Trump rally

hairheidi & carley
Recently at a Trump rally, the orangutan sitting on Donald’s head heard the breaking news about Governor Kasich and Ted Cruz dropping out of the presidential race, and jumped off Mr. Trump’s head, ran across the stage and bitch-slapped Heidi Cruz, Karen Kasich, and Carly Fiorina.

Best sex we’ve had in years

pop heidi
Senator Ted Cruz was so distraught when he dropped out of the presidential race that he popped his wife, Heidi, across the teeth with his elbow and then shot her a right cross to the chin. A few minutes later, Mrs. Cruz told the press: “That was the best sex we’ve had in years.”

Two Faced Trump

Trump two
In Donald Trump’s disjointed speech on the topic of foreign affairs, one minute the leader of the Billionaires Boys Club said that America needs to build more weapons of mass destruction, while the next minute Donald announced that America has too many weapons of mass destruction. Even Trump supporters don’t know which side of his face to believe.

Village idiot

funny face Trump
For the first time in Donald Trump’s campaign for the presidency, the billionaire used a teleprompter to read his speech on foreign affairs. The sophomoric speech was a collection of random thoughts, inane concepts, and disconnected ideologies written by the plethora of sycophants surrounding Mr. Trump. As expected, by the end of his speech, Donald retained his village idiot stature and came off sounding like the clueless snapper-head critical thinkers have grown to loathe.

Carly & Cruz a match made in Hell

Carley & Cruz
In a desperate attempt to remain relevant in the campaign for the presidency, Senator Ted Cruz announced that Carly Fiorina would be his vice presidential running mate. After viewing Ted and Carly standing side by side and listening to them rant about ending a women’s right to choose to have an abortion, a better argument for having an abortion could not be made.

Hot Air Buffoon

Trump hair club
Eight out of ten Americans view Donald Trump as a hot air buffoon. The other two percent belong to the Hair Club for Men and see the follically challenged zipper-head as their leader. Please get out and vote. If you stay home, we could end up like Italy during WW11 and find ourselves with Donal J Mussolini in the White House.

Cracker Cruz

cracker cruz
Senator Ted Cruz celebrated his primary win in Wisconsin by eating at a Cracker Barrel Restaurant in Madison. It was hardly ironic viewing the fear-mongering cracker from Canada/Texas eating cheese at a restaurant in Wisconsin.

Embarrassment to the colonies

founding fathers
When an English reporter mentioned Donald Trump at the press conference David Cameron held with President Obama at Number 10 Downing street, the audience giggled nervously. In truth, Donald Trump is a major embarrassment to the colonies. Like Barack Obama, the Prime Minster of England is an intelligent, pensive man who cares deeply for the goodwill of his country. Knuckleheads like Donald Trump and Ted Cruz, on the other hand, care deeply about themselves and little else. I’ll talk to you later, right now I have to grab a hammer out of my toolbox, because my soapbox needs a little reenforcing.